Teaching, Karaoke, and Getting Lost. These things are the pillars of life in Japan.

I'll start with Teaching.

I've been trained in the art of teleconference teaching. I am now an official English teacher. I know how to read English, make funny gestures, get people to read aloud and correct people when they're wrong. Great examples of typical mistakes that Japanese people make are "I go to shopping", "I wasn't gone to Tokyo" and "I have dog".

It's much harder to teach the beginner types. Their accent is usually quite thick, with r and l's switched, and with plenty of words left out, not just a word here and there. They're usually the ones that give you blank stares, but respond best to thumbs up. Whenever a student makes a mistake, you have to say 'almost' or 'not quite', but never outright 'no'. From speaking to various people who have been in Japan for a long time, the word 'no' means a lot more than simply "that isn't true in this case" and can sometimes mean "you aren't right, and never will be". 'yes' also has an extended meaning, the most important one being "I understand".

My first full day of work is tomorrow, I will be given a test to see if I understood the training session and what I've forgotten.

As for fun adventures, everyone will be glad to know that I've gone drinking in Osaka. Something I was surprised to learn is just how much the Japanese love to drink. I cannot emphasize this point enough. Like they love their drinks like the Irish love their drinks, if not more. But here's the awesome thing: There is no taboo with getting drunk. Not only that, but people actually look away if there's public urination going on, it's just impolite to look at people while they're urinating in the streets. It's also impolite to say or look at the people who are passed out on benches and may or may not have soiled themselves.

The second time I went drinking with people from another NOVA branch, we wound up at a karaoke bar. Our group was separated into 2 groups. I had befriended a British guy named Andrew, and him and I would sing loudly at every song even though we were clearly horrible. I had also met a few other people, including some Canadians and Australians. For those of you who don't know, I was very excited to meet Aussies. I haven't really met any actual Aussies yet.

So my group consisted of myself, Andrew, a Canadian girl named Sandy, and about 5 or 6 Americans. We had all you can drink, for a flat rate of 1800 yen. They kept on bringing us drinks, and we kept on pounding them down.

As the night wore on, and I started losing my voice, I went into the other booth which contained the Aussies, a few British people and some Canadians. Now that was a fun booth. We got up on our seats, kept on bringing in whiskey, and pounded them down like there was no tomorrow. I will state for the record, that I was proud of my fellow Canadians in their abilities to drink, have fun and not make asses of themselves. I will also state for the record that the Aussies were with us, shot for shot, singing every song along with us, and just general kick assedness. I was impressed, whereas the British for the most part weren't drinking at the end of the night and the Americans couldn't help but pass out on the table, break glasses and insist they're fine, only to fall on the table again.

Getting lost can be lots of fun, or it can be a frightening experience when you're in a foreign culture whose language you don't know. Here's my story about getting lost in Japan:

Last night I went to a bar after work. I had been to the bar before, but I always went with the guys I live with. They would lead the way, and I would be in awe of all the little shops to the left and right of me. Getting a sense of direction in a country in which you're illiterate is actually much more difficult to get around than a country in which you're not. I left my apartment to go to the bar at 9:45 pm. I got lost on the way, ended up at some strip clubs by mistake, but eventually found myself at the large crab described in the directions given to me. I looked for the bar in relation to the huge crab for a very long time before I just said to myself 'forget it' and started tracing my steps to go back home. This whole thing had probably taken me an hour.

For the next 2 hours or so, I would be wandering Japan, unable to ask them how to get to where I lived, because I couldn't remember my address. I was thirsty, hungry and tired for the whole time. I still don't know where I was, and today I was walking around Osaka and saw somethings that I saw last night, and it hurts to realize that the whole time, I was never further away from home than 5-10 minutes. But here's why my sanity was melting away: I wound up at the crab 3 times that night. That's right, I would get incredibly lost, and somehow, as if space itself was warped, I was back at the giant crab. Not only that, but I got to see the male prostitutes, a yakuza and was solicited for sex twice by a female prostitute (I think, she was speaking Japanese, but seemed desperate). Incredibly however, at about 1 am, I found the bar. After hours of searching for either the bar, or my house, I found the bar while looking for my house. I went upstairs, and walked into the bar. The people were very nice, saw me come in looking tired, and one waiter led me to a table of white people. It wasn't my friends... my friends had left earlier because they started work at 7. And as if by a miracle, I knew the way home and got in at 1:15, which included a stop in a convenience store near my home where I got a Strawberry Sundae. I deserved it more than I've ever deserved Ice Cream before.

You may ask: How did I get so lost? What prevented me from meeting up with my friends?
I was at the wrong giant crab.